Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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