hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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