JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
