This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize