Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
