roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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