He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do vagina's smell?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
