It's like God shit irony all over that family
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
