my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
