2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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