im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
