Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
