You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
