Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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