Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize