Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
