READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MIDGETS
????
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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