batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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