You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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