just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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