I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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