My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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