i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
