I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
