Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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