i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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