The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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