I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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