That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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