you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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