Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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