Moan for me like Helen Keller
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
