she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
