Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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