Cold hands, warm shart.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
