if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
