you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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