you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
