my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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