So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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