I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
