whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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