So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize