it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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