A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
