Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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