Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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