I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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