I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
