I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
