This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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