margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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