YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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