btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I yelled at your uterus for you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
