He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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